Baby Fever

     Ah! Spring is in the air! The days are getting a little longer. The air is a little warmer. And everything is procreating! Including what seems to be all of my friends. Not that I am not extremely happy for each and everyone of them, but I can't help but wonder when will my time come. We have been trying for another baby since Aiden turned a year old. Right after Aiden's first birthday I went and had my Mirena removed (Thank God, because that thing was seriously making me insane!). We quickly conceived within a month of having it removed. Sadly I miscarried after a few months.

   Now, here we are in the present year and still no baby! I finally found a competent doctor who identified the cause of our problems. It turns out that, just as my ever so wise best friend kept telling me, I have a condition known as PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). It is where my ovaries prepare to release an egg each month but due to hormonal imbalances they never get the signal from my brain to actually release the egg. So basically I do not ovulate regularly like normal ladies. This explained so many things that have been an issue with me, such as depression and mood swings, acne, and weight gain.

  It also meant that my sweet little boy was kind of a miracle baby. The stars aligned just so, so that he could be created. Not to mention that there were no complications with my pregnancy with him even though I lost a previous baby (Cadence Alise) at 26 weeks due to placenta previa. Aiden was an easy pregnancy. No morning sickness. Well, except that one time that Nathan and I were riding around the beautiful state of Connecticut drinking a red slurpy. Yeah, he could not pull over fast enough. You know, I don't think I've had one of those slurpies since then either. Blech!

  Anyway, I loved being pregnant. I want to be pregnant again. So now I have to take these pills called Clomid each month. Those pills keep my body from making estrogen so that when I go off of them each month I get an estrogen surge. Can you say, "Hello Menopause?!?!" Yeah, its crazy. I get the most hellacious hot flashes. And one of the side effects if I do happen to get pregnant on the Clomid is twins! I could only be so lucky.

     So while all my friends have that wonderful pregnancy glow to them and yet are complaining about how they think it sucks to be pregnant, I wish they would just remember that some of us out here would give just about anything to be in their shoes. So enjoy it mama's and quit yer bitchin'! But seriously, I am happy for all of you and I do apologize if it doesn't always seem like I'm up for celebrating your little bun in the oven, I just keep wondering when it will be my time again.